mike nation and the weed withdrawal

july 15th, 2026

hi mike nation! it's been a while.

a few days ago, on july 9, i had a talk with my girlfriend because I lied to her about having bought edibles. she's been wanting me to quit cannabis for a long time (for context i live in canada where weed is 100% legal).

i've tried and failed to quit weed on many occasions. but i'm so tired of hiding things from her, i'm tired of spending all my money on my addiction when my money COULD be going towards paying my rent, my overdue tuition, my student loans, and even saving up for our own apartment.

i have a new job and my hours aren't great right now, so every dime I earn has to be saved. my rent is going to go up because i'm staying with her parents. it's good for my gf to have me here with her, but as it stands, my gf's parents are PAYING to have me here rather than making money to fulfill the extra living costs. FUCK MY LIFEEEEE

me actually

but, as it stands today, i'm almost 6 whole days sober, which is the longest i've been sober since I went to Utah where it's ILLEGAL to buy, consume or sell marijuana. bruh.

i've found that i have more energy, but also weed withdrawal is a real thing and she is a BITCH. sometimes i'll just break out into tears for absolutely no reason. thankfully, my girlfriend is a goddess and a saint and she has been incredibly understanding as always. i love her so much. i'm mostly doing this for her.

i do have some urges still. i outright refuse to spend any of my money on weed. but when we live together alone with our own place, i wish i could start smoking weed again. i haven't told her that though.

i probably won't end up doing that because my gf sees this as more of a permanent solution. which makes sense. i definitely have a problem. but i want to be able to smoke weed like once a month without it being a problem. just something to give my brain a rest once in a while.

if i ever want that to happen, i have to stay sober until we move out, which could be in at least a year from now. i feel like i can do that. if it doesn't happen, and my girlfriend wants me to stay sober, that's fine too. i'll do it if need be. if she believes that i can be trusted with it again, then that would be lovely.

weed withdrawal also gives me way more vivid dreams. sometimes i'll wake up and it'll feel like i lived a whole day in my dreams and just wake up tired again. but, weirdly enough, not getting high has made me enjoy reading a lot more. i've been reading so much, it's odd. okay it's mostly smut fanfics. if you don't know what that is don't look it up. ANYWAY thanks for reading this don't judge me i'm literally neurodivergent okay byeeee